Appendix: Answer Key

Page 3 – 

Communication is not what you intend, but what the other person perceives/understands.

Between our delivery of the message and the other person’s receipt of the message is a minefield of: Deletions,  Distortions, Distractions and Generalizations.

Deletions are what we don’t pay attention to. There are two million bits of information coming at us every second through our five senses, so we are forced to delete most of that information and get down to chunks of about 134 bits of information that our conscious mind can process at a time. 

Page 4 – 

Distortions are when we interpret information in a way other than the way it was intended or the way most people would perceive it. Example: “She didn’t smile when I said hi, so she is obviously angry with me.”

Distractions are anything taking up space in our conscious mind that is not helping to properly interpret the message we are receiving. It could be internal or external. It could be physical pain or discomfort, “day dreaming” or thinking about something unrelated to the message. It could be noise in the background, people moving around the room, something the communicator is wearing or doing.

Generalizations are our brain’s shortcut to learning. It is a useful tool that allows us to combine information we’ve learned and not have to relearn things over and over or learn every possible variation. Ex: We have not physically seen every chair in the world, but we know what one is immediately when we see it because of our experience in seeing other ones. We generalize other people’s behavior as well. Ex: We say “he is always late” because he has been late on several or many occasions.

Page 5 – 

The quality of your life is GREATLY determined by the quality of your communication.  

Communication is much, much more than just the verbal message. In fact, the content of your communication (the actual words you use) is the least important part of your message!  

Communication is not what you intend, but what the other person perceives/understands. (yes, this is a repeat!)  

The sum total of what the average person understands as your communication is derived from three categories: 7% Words; 38% Tone of Voice; 55% Non-Verbal

Page 6 – 

Purposeful Communicators learn to bridge the language barriers with their audience by speaking the preferred language of the audience.

Page 11 –

The way each person’s brain prefers to process information is their preferred representational system; i.e., the computer programming language for their brain. 

Some organize their thoughts around the sounds they have heard and are mainly visual.

Some organize their thoughts around the sounds they have heard and are mainly auditory.

Others are more greatly influenced by how experiences and information make them feel and we call this kinesthetic.

If logic and thinking things through so they make sense is highly important to a person, their preferred representational system is known as digital.

Page 12 – 

No person uses only one representational system, but every person has a preference. Much like being right or left handed, we all comprehend information more quickly and “get the point” if the information is presented in our preference.

Before we can speak their “language,” we must pay close enough attention to identify their preference, which means we must increase our sensory acuity.

WARNING! It is important to consistently re-evaluate as some people will tend to favor one rep system in certain situations and unconsciously change preferences in another.

Page 17 – 

People listen to people they like.

They vote for people they like.

People like people who are like them!!!

The perception of likeness is what counts.

“Liking” is caused by the process of responsiveness we commonly refer to as rapport.

The advantage is creating unconscious rapport.

Matching and mirroring, without being obvious, will create rapport on a subconscious level.

Page 35 – 

Most normal human beings fear public speaking, while most leaders (especially candidates) want to speak, but are terrible at it. 

Page 37 –

Your appearance tells others what you think of yourself.

Dress at or slightly above the level of your audience, a level that helps both of you to be comfortable and still portray your professionalism.

The way you feel and the way you look are two different things. 

Page 38 –

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel your way into a new way of acting.

You don’t have to get rid of the butterflies, you just make them fly in formation.

Speaker’s stance should be relaxed and confident. This sends a message to the audience AND the speaker!

​​Starting position is home base, but you don’t have to stay there. If you move to one side, talk to them and then open up to the other side.

Page 40 –

Before a speech, be aware that you are being watched. Don’t stare off into space or lounge in your chair. Act interested even if you are not. Don’t review your notes, unless absolutely necessary.

After being introduced, get up quickly and enthusiastically. Walk rapidly and with purpose to the microphone. Make eye contact with the audience as you go. 

(1) Shake hands, (2) make eye contact and (3) say thank you to the person introducing you.

Page 41 –

You SHOULD use your hands, but with a purpose, not just to move them. Make each movement meaningful, painting a picture.

Look for opportunities such as numbers, directions, comparisons, and action verbs. 

Gestures should appear to be spontaneous. The whole body should be involved. The larger the audience, the broader the gesture.

Practice, practice, practice in front of a mirror or video tape yourself.

Page 42 –

Eye clasp just as you clasp hands when introduced. Hold 3 to 5 seconds. [complete a thought or sentence with one person, then move on]

Don’t mow them down, be random. Complete a thought or sentence with one person then move on. Don’t eye dart, no one trusts “shifty-eyes.” 

Page 43 – 

Make eye contact with those who ask for it, not those who are uncomfortable. No longer than 5/five seconds on one person.

Looking people in the eye without hesitancy: 

• Projects confidence, power and authority. 
• Conveys honesty and openness.

Opening remarks must be memorized so you can make eye contact in the beginning of your speech.

Page 45 –

Avoid monotone. 

Air has to hit the back wall, not necessarily loud but intense.

Page 46 –

If you are too quiet, it says you are tired and lack energy, while also communicating doubt and indecision. 

The changes are for a purpose.

People think 4/four times faster than you speak, so speeding up a little helps keep them involved.

But they must be able to understand you, so monitor your clarity.

Page 47 –

The cure is nothing… just silence instead of padding. 

Page 48 –

Ask questions, use names, let them finish sentences.

Page 49 –

Listen… and listen, don’t cut them off unless they are out of control.

Answer to the target audience.

Page 50 –

End with a power close.

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