Lesson 1
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THE LEADER’S EDGE!
The Power of Purposeful Communication
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“If I don’t address you plainly with some insight or truth or proclamation or teaching, what help am I to you? If musical instruments—flutes, say, or harps—aren’t played so that each note is distinct and in tune, how will anyone be able to catch the melody and enjoy the music? If the trumpet call can’t be distinguished, will anyone show up for the battle?
So if you speak in a way no one can understand, what’s the point of opening your mouth? There are many languages in the world and they all mean something to someone. But if I don’t understand the language, it’s not going to do me much good. It’s no different with you. Since you’re so eager to participate in what God is doing, why don’t you concentrate on doing what helps everyone…?”
I Corinthians 14:6-12 (The Message)
Take the test on the next 2 pages and score it on page 9 (it is easier to score if you tear out page 9 and place the answer grid side by side with the questions).
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7-10
Representational System Preference Test
For each of the following statements, please place a number next to every phrase. Use the following system to indicate your preferences:
4 = Closest to describing you
3 = Next best description
2 = Next best
1 = Least descriptive of you
1. I make important decisions based on:
gut level feelings
which way sounds the best
what looks best to me
precise review and study of the issues
2. During an argument, I am most likely to be influenced by:
the other person’s tone of voice
whether or not I can see the other person’s argument
the logic of the other person’s argument
whether or not I feel I am in touch with the other person’s true feelings
3. I most easily communicate what is going on with me by:
the way I dress and look
the feelings I share
the words I choose
the tone of my voice
4. It is easiest for me to:
find the ideal volume and tuning on a stereo system
select the most intellectually relevant point concerning an interesting subject
select the most comfortable furniture
select rich, attractive color combinations
5.
I am very attuned to the sounds of my surroundings.
I am very adept at making sense of new facts and data.
I am very sensitive to the way articles of clothing feel on my body.
I have a strong response to colors and to the way a room looks.
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REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS
Visual ~ Auditory ~ Kinesthetic ~ Digital
Show respect for the other person by speaking their unconscious language… their representational system.
VISUAL TRAITS:
● They are neat & well groomed; dress sharp
● They talk fast; breath high
● They need to paint the picture for you and use lots of gestures
● They have a firm handshake & eye contact
● They prefer in-person interactions; sees the big picture
● Confused by verbal instructions so draw them a map or picture
● They are distracted by visual activity and not so much noise
● Remember faces better than names..unless there’s a name tag!
VISUAL PREDICATES:
● See, Look, Appear, View, Show, Reveal
● Envision, Clear, Focused, Imagine, Picture, Vivid
● Crystal clear, See to it, Paint a picture, Mental image
● Appears to me, Catch a glimpse of, Get a perspective on
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AUDITORY TRAITS:
● Their speech is very clear
● Their breathing is mid range
● They use few gestures because they can’t “see” them anyway!
● They talk in your ear if there’s lots of background noise
● They are more responsive to tone of voice
● They learn by listening and asking questions
● They prefer discussion settings rather than written words
● They solve problems by talking through them
AUDITORY PREDICATES:
● Hear, Listen, Sound, Tell
● Announce, Outspoken, Resonate, Attune
● Tune in/out, Be all ears, Rings a bell
● Clear as a bell, Describe in detail, Hold your tongue,
● Loud and clear, Pay attention to, Tongue-tied,
● Unheard of, Voice an opinion, To tell the truth
● I hear you, Think before you speak
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KINESTHETIC TRAITS:
● They talk slower and calculated
● They feel it before they speak
● They dress very comfortable; loose clothes
● Their breathing is very deep and low
● They feel gestures coming from their gut
● They touch arm or shoulder when shaking hand, even hug
● They stand closer to others than a visual person would
KINESTHETIC PREDICATES:
● Feel, Touch, Grasp, Cool
● Calm, Collected, Concrete, Solid
● Impression, Suffer, Not budging, Hard
● Slip through, Get in touch with, Catch on
● Hang in there, Tap into, Light headed, Make contact
● Get a handle, Touch base, Boils down to, Come to grips with
● Connect with, Control yourself, Get a hold of
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DIGITAL TRAITS:
● Lawyer; CPA; Engineer type
● They seem to be reading a statute when they talk
● They tend to look down as they read
● They often wear their watch on their right hand
● Lay out the facts for them and make the case
● Logic and congruency are critical
DIGITAL PREDICATES:
● Sense, Experience, Understand
● Think, Learn, Process, Decide
● Consider, Perceive, Distinct ● Conceive, Know
● Be conscious
Integrated Phrases:
See what I’m saying? (visual / auditory)
I can see myself doing that. (visual / kinesthetic)
See what I mean? (visual / digital)
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In gaining someone’s support, it’s not enough to know what they want, you’ve got to give it to them in their rules, not yours.
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COMPONENTS OF RAPPORT
1. PHYSIOLOGY = 55%
a. Posture (notice spine, head tilt, and distance rules)
b. Gestures & touching
c. Facial expressions, blinking, and eye contact
d. Breathing
2. VOICE = 38%
a. Tone (pitch)
b. Tempo (speed)
c. Volume
d. Accent
3. WORDS = 7%
a. Predicates
b. Key word
c. Common experiences & Associations
d. Shared Values (VALS on next page)
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